Okay, I will admit to this, I just threw this in the book because I thought it was funny.
“What’s going on?” Brian asked the waitress at the counter.
“The Boss is announcing a new product,” she said. “He’s real excited about it, and he’s invited his in-laws and his business partner’s family to be the first ones to try it.
“So what can I get you?” She flashed him a smile.
“Two double bacon cheeseburgers and fries.” Brian turned to watch the man who was now standing behind the podium.
“Friends, I’m excited you could be here today as it was nearly five years ago that I opened this restaurant,” the man addressed the group. “I remember all of you thinking I was a fool. Not a single one of you would offer me any support. But I had a dream and I followed that dream.
“Without any of your help I made my dream come true by working 60 to 80 hours a week. I never would have been able to do it without the complete faith that my wife, Lilly, and my best friend, Tom, showed in me.
“Every time I got down in the dumps they would encourage me to put in a few more hours work and stay at it a little longer. It was because of those long hours that I was able to pay back all of my loans early and I was finally able to hire a store manager so I don’t need to put in those long hours.
“You might notice that Lilly and Tom are not among you right now, that is because of an interesting thing that inspired my latest dish. Three days ago I hired a young lady that had a lot of experience in the food industry. It took me forever to find someone I would be comfortable turning over my dream to, but I finally found her.
“I was so excited I rushed home to tell Lilly. I happened to walk in on Lilly and Tom in bed. It turns out they encouraged me to spend long hours here at the restaurant not to realize my dreams, but so that they could have more time having sex with each other.
“I acted a little rash and grabbed an ax and chopped them both to bits. If I had been thinking clearly I would have laid down a drop cloth first. I really liked the carpet in the bedroom and was sad to see it ruined.
“Anyway, I had nearly three hundred pounds of fresh prime meat sitting at my feet and the number one rule in the restaurant business is you don’t waste food, so that is when I came up the idea for my latest product.
“I ground the two of them up and was surprised to see how lean they were. I guess I shouldn’t have been after all I’ve heard sex is great exercise. I grilled them up and turned them into to the tasty meal you all just ate.
“So to all of you that thought I was a fool for following my dream, to all of you that tried to fill my head with doubts that I could ever run a successful business. To all of you I dedicate the “Manwitch”. Made from equal parts of Man, from your back stabbing son Tom.” The man pointed to an older couple in the front, “and Witch, from your Witch of a daughter.” He pointed to another older couple. “I hope you enjoyed your meal and that you rot in hell for spawning such evil into the world.”
Again, this side character was just a fun little story added to the book. Other than delaying Brian he didn’t add to Brian’s overall story.