Side Characters II


devil kitten

The incompetent devil worshipers in An Extra Topping of Horror.

Where I got my inspiration for the incompetent devil worshipers was straightforward, I delivered a pizza to a church meeting.

Rural Americans will understand this, but Americans in cities and those outside America this takes a little explaining. Small towns in America might not have grocery stores, hardware stores, or any store where you can find clothes for someone of “average” build. What they have is Gun Shops, Pawn Shops, Tobacco Stores, and Churches, lots of Churches.

The teachings in these churches range from what I call Unitarians with bibles. They believe in a message I can get behind that you should lead a moral life, helping others and trying not to hurt anyone if possible, that way if there is a god you can justify your life, if not you have very little to regret.

The other extreme is about 10 people filled with hate and resentment of “others”.

And everything in between.

So delivering to a church I’m not familiar with always filled me with dread. Luckily it was an order for several pizzas. The hate filled churches don’t have the numbers to place large orders.

I walked into a downright surreal scene. Roughly twenty teens, one with a boombox playing death-metal. The youth councilor, an attractive young lady in her mid-twenties, looked me over and kept looking me over as I approached. As she paid for the pizzas, she invited me to check out the church. She stood very close to me as she said I’d like how friendly they are, and touched my forearm while keeping eye contact. She was definitely blurring the line between recruiting and flirting.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

Taking each thing on its own they were all innocent. The teens were waiting for the meeting to start, one wanted to share their music with the others. The youth councilor liked me, but was thinking of talking about how the church needed to let people know they weren’t one of the hate filled churches. So the two messages got blurred. Taken altogether, it put weird images in my head.

It got me thinking about how things can get strange when taken out of context. So I thought what is better for out of context horror than Devil Worshipers.

Everyone knows how Devil Worshipers love Orgies, and human sacrifices why not combine the two. Imagine if a male Delivery Driver was being recruited into an orgy, but mistook the context. From there my imagination took flight.

So I took Linda the lead daughter of darkness.

Motivation – “Oh Great.” The Dark Priest held up his hands. “Now how are we going hold our sacrifice?”

We could move straight on to the Orgy,” Linda suggested.

That’s your solution to everything isn’t it?” The Dark Priest screamed at his wife, “Move straight to the Orgy. Nothing on TV, I suggest a game of cards, you say, ‘hey why not have an Orgy.’ I mention we have bald patches in our lawn and want to pick up some fertilizer, you say, ‘Let’s have an Orgy to make the Dark Lord fix it.’

You know I’m beginning to think you’re not truly in this to give your soul to Satan. I think you just do it for the Orgies.”

Well maybe if you gave me some outside the Orgies, I wouldn’t be thinking about them all the time.” Linda shot back.

That pretty much sums up her motivation.

Actions – They try to trick guys into having sex with beautiful women.

Obstacles – They are too incompetent to do that.

As far as showing anything about Brian’s character, it showed he can think on his feet to get out of a situation he doesn’t like. Also it was funny.

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